The Meaninglessness of Life

In Life on January 11, 2012 by thebetweenthoughts

I tend to overanalyze.  (Just in case you didn’t know that already. ;P) 

And in my overanalysis, there is one overriding theme – everything has meaning.  I attach importance and significance to actions and expressions that others may see as routine.  An interrupted smile (the precursor to a lie), a thoughtful glance (a growing attraction), a slight crinkle of the nose (disgust at what was just said), an offer of gum (an invitation to a kiss)…these all speak to some greater intent and motivation.  At least, I need them to…

I read so much meaning into the most subtle of gestures because I want life to have some meaning and overarching purpose.  I understand that randomness and chaos are life’s “natural” state, but I can’t move forward in life without some semblance of meaning.  My need to attach meaning to everything arises out of a fear of purposeless and meaninglessness in my own life (yes, once again, it all comes down to me).  I tend not to do things accidentally.  Most of my actions are words are fairly deliberate and the subtle meanings that arise are motivated consciously.  Maybe it’s a writer’s tendency to give everything a narrative.  My life (or life in general) needs to be an interesting story.  If it isn’t, then what was the point of these 30 years (and counting) on Earth?  If there isn’t a moral, a conclusion or some general theme to these past years…then why did I even exist?

Is that the “human condition”?  The constant battle to force meaning and purpose on a chaotic life?  It’s a fairly self-centered trait to think that your life actually has meaning when it’s readily apparent that the universe is indifferent to you.  We are fighting the forces of nature whenever we wake up in the morning and decide to do anything.  Our ability to act and affect the world around us gives us the power to have meaning in life.  But how often do we actually capitalize on the opportunity to act?  (I seem to have gone off the rails a bit here, a blog post about the meaninglessness of life has degenerated into a jumbled thoughts and incoherent ramblings…hmm…maybe I didn’t go off the rails.) 

A few days ago, the “Word of the Day” from recently was :  Heterotelic – having the purpose of its existence or occurrence apart from itself.

There’s some meaning to that, right?



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