I think…I hate everyone here.

I’m a hater.

I freely admit it.  And those who associate with me are fully aware of the vitriol and spiteful invectives that spew forth from my mouth on a daily basis.  Now, I could attribute this perspective on life to the highly critical nature of my mother or to a defensive mechanism borne from years of playground abuse.  But that would be an insincere and misleading explanation, I hate…because it’s fun.

(Hate might be the wrong word here, but I’m struggling to find a word more powerful than dislike that seems appropriate – despise?  detest?  loathe?  See, “hate” just seems to fit in this context.  Feel free to suggest your own synonyms after reading the full post.)

I have high expectations for those around me…not just my friends, but the world at large.  And when those around me fail to meet these expectations, my disappointment quickly turns to annoyance to anger to hate.  Is there anything wrong with having high expectations?  Is there anything wrong with wanting perfection out of life?  Isn’t this what fuels us as a society to improve and to succeed?  Hate is a functional response to wanting the best out of life.

My critical eye allows me to see the ridiculousness of life.  Previously, this recognition caused me to walk around with a constant smirk.  Over the years (and maybe as a result of New York City), this smirk has turned into a scowl.  I still see the ridiculousness, but instead of inspiring mirth, it conjures up feelings of anger and discontent.  I’m not sure if this is a permanent shift in perspective or if I’ll someday return to the comically upturned lips of yore.  Regardless, this discontent with life is what fuels me to be a better person physically and intellectually (although most likely retarding my growth spiritually and emotionally).  I take joy in the hate, knowing that I’ll be closer to the (unrealistic) goals that I have set for myself.

Hate for the common man is what pushes us to be extraordinary.  Even when I was a child, I never wanted to be like everyone else.  I had dreams (or delusions) of grandeur.  Hope can only get you so far though, Hate is what will finally empower you to achieve greatness.  The title of this posting is a quote from a recent trip to Vegas.  We were looking at the masses of people shuffling around us and that was the first thought that came to my head.  I didn’t hate these people individually; they had done nothing to wrong me personally.  But I did hate these “people” – the masses frustrated me.  Collective thinking and a refusal of responsibility…these are the key traits of the “people”.  I will try my hardest to fight against that and I will use whatever anger and hate I can muster.  Hate and Anger have inspired more passion in my soul than any amount of Love and Compassion.

I’m a hater – born, bred…and, most importantly, by choice.

;P